Blog-wise

I have a bit of time this morning so I thought I would catch up on all things bloggish while I had the chance-


Yesterday I temped for FedEx and while it wasn’t unpleasant, after the first couple of stops, it became apparent that nobody likes brown strangers in their yard. I know, I know, it was my first reaction… my knee jerked into skin-color mode when trying to figure out what was going on. It went down like this: FedEx gave me a bunch of crap to deliver around hick towns like Corning and Orland and they told me to do it in my own car as they would pay mileage along with a wage. The only symbol or proof of my relationship with the company was a pair of door magnets with the FedEx logo on them. That and the packages themselves, ya?

Knock-knock
Them: (eyeing me suspiciously) Who are you?
Me: (being brown) FedEx! Is this (insert address here) ?
Them: (reaching for the shotgun behind the door) That’s what it sez on the mailbox.
Me: (making no sudden movements) Fabulous, I have a package for such-n-such person, could you sign here?
Them: You one of them Al Qaedas?
Me: No.
-at this point the doorguard has to make a choice: Either remove his hand from the shotgun so he can unbar the door or he can shout, “Git ‘er done!” and open fire on the evil courier. Thankfully I rolled 20’s yesterday and so lived to tell the tale.

The most interesting thing invariably happened at the end of the transaction, after I had delivered the package and bid them a good day. I would then amble back to my car to fill out paperwork and decide where to go next (with thx to my sweet wife and her quick use of mapquest) all the while with the package’s recipient still watching me from behind the safety of their storm door. I ask you, what was the rationale behind their suspicions? That I was pretending to be a FedEx courier so I could drop off anthrax-laced packages? These people have GOT to stop watching Fox News.