Mr. Bay, if you f-up this movie I will harvest and eat your candy-filled soul.
...I mean it.
Monday, July 17, 2006
More Than Meets The Eyes (pt. 3)
Mr. Bay, if you f-up this movie I will harvest and eat your candy-filled soul.
...I mean it.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Porn-Star Haircut
The other day my friend Evan and I were talking about getting into shape and vanity in general. It seems to me that any type of exercise outside of every day activities or for the maintenance of health and utility is simply narcissism. After a bit of discussion I decided that I’m comfortable with that. After all, we (for the most part) spend so much time telling each other and ourselves that we are defective in some way and that defect keeps us from being beautiful. Whether we obsess openly or in the closet there seems to be some aspect of ourselves that we wish we could change. But is the act of trying to change that aspect vanity, particularly when you are content/happy in every other aspect? Well, in my case, yeah it is. And I’m okay with it. I like that I tan to dark reddish-brown. My wife seems to enjoy it as well. I’m also thankful that providence dropped the 2 pieces of workout equipment that I would need to help improve my doughy physique right in my backyard. With a little help from our friends we may actually reach our goal of fighting ninja-jedi-robots this year. Now, that’s gotta be a good thing.
There is a downside however and I’m not talking about that stoopid strained elbow I got or even the chance of melanoma. Nope, this, like so many of the dumb-ass things I’ve been involved with, is entirely my fault. After it was decided that vanity was a-okay with me, I decided to do something about my tan-line. You see, there is now a stark difference between where I am tan and where I am not. Okay, the solution seemed simple enough: sunbathe with less than the accustomed pieces of swimwear. But before this could happen, something had to be done about the pasty-white area underneath. You see, on men, this area is rather ugly and often hairy. Well, there was nothing I could do about the ugly, so off I went to take care of the hairy. Nothing too radical, just what’s referred to as a porn-star haircut. All seemed to be going well until… well, let me just say that there are some places on the human body where mentholated shaving cream should NEVER be applied.
Sigh… well, we live and we learn, ja? Stoopid vanity.
There is a downside however and I’m not talking about that stoopid strained elbow I got or even the chance of melanoma. Nope, this, like so many of the dumb-ass things I’ve been involved with, is entirely my fault. After it was decided that vanity was a-okay with me, I decided to do something about my tan-line. You see, there is now a stark difference between where I am tan and where I am not. Okay, the solution seemed simple enough: sunbathe with less than the accustomed pieces of swimwear. But before this could happen, something had to be done about the pasty-white area underneath. You see, on men, this area is rather ugly and often hairy. Well, there was nothing I could do about the ugly, so off I went to take care of the hairy. Nothing too radical, just what’s referred to as a porn-star haircut. All seemed to be going well until… well, let me just say that there are some places on the human body where mentholated shaving cream should NEVER be applied.
Sigh… well, we live and we learn, ja? Stoopid vanity.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Yay Boobs! Pt. 2
Above is an artist’s rendition of my dear friend Sierra discovering herself. At least, this is what it looked like in MY mind. And, you know, if she were also a super-hero=)
Friday, July 07, 2006
Yay Boobs!
At long last, my curvaceous friend Sierra has posted a body-shot on her blog. What makes this interesting to me (besides the brobdingnagian proportions of the body parts in question) is the fact that she seems genuinely astounded by their size, as though they had somehow snuck up on her=)
Rest assured, Sierrra, that this is a surprise to no one who has worked with you… as a matter of fact I remember many times as we talked in your office I would force myself to look at something else (ANYthing else) to keep from staring at you like the deranged pervert I am. This was not always easy, as your office is small and between you, me and your boobs it often felt crowded=)
Rest assured, Sierrra, that this is a surprise to no one who has worked with you… as a matter of fact I remember many times as we talked in your office I would force myself to look at something else (ANYthing else) to keep from staring at you like the deranged pervert I am. This was not always easy, as your office is small and between you, me and your boobs it often felt crowded=)
Nerd-meme
How sad that this upsets me=) NG Elf Ranger-Monk indeed.
I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Ranger
Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'.
Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.
Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.
Secondary Class:
Monks are strange and generally not understood by the world at large. They live apart from people, and follow strict codes that restrain their behavior and lifestyle. They have an exceptionally calm outlook on life, and generally do not resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. Even when they do, their code of conduct forbids the use of all weapons - except their hands. As such, monks are extremely skilled at hand-to-hand combat, and no other style.
Deity:
Mielikki is the Neutral Good goddess of the forest and autumn. She is also known as the Lady of the Forest, and is the Patron of Rangers. Her followers are devoted to nature, and believe in the positive and outreaching elements of it. They use light armor, and a variety of weapons suitable for hunting, which they are quite skilled at. Mielikki's symbol is a unicorn head.
Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of
NeppyMan (e-mail)
I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Ranger
Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'.
Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.
Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.
Secondary Class:
Monks are strange and generally not understood by the world at large. They live apart from people, and follow strict codes that restrain their behavior and lifestyle. They have an exceptionally calm outlook on life, and generally do not resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. Even when they do, their code of conduct forbids the use of all weapons - except their hands. As such, monks are extremely skilled at hand-to-hand combat, and no other style.
Deity:
Mielikki is the Neutral Good goddess of the forest and autumn. She is also known as the Lady of the Forest, and is the Patron of Rangers. Her followers are devoted to nature, and believe in the positive and outreaching elements of it. They use light armor, and a variety of weapons suitable for hunting, which they are quite skilled at. Mielikki's symbol is a unicorn head.
Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of
NeppyMan (e-mail)
Blog-wise
I have a bit of time this morning so I thought I would catch up on all things bloggish while I had the chance-
Yesterday I temped for FedEx and while it wasn’t unpleasant, after the first couple of stops, it became apparent that nobody likes brown strangers in their yard. I know, I know, it was my first reaction… my knee jerked into skin-color mode when trying to figure out what was going on. It went down like this: FedEx gave me a bunch of crap to deliver around hick towns like Corning and Orland and they told me to do it in my own car as they would pay mileage along with a wage. The only symbol or proof of my relationship with the company was a pair of door magnets with the FedEx logo on them. That and the packages themselves, ya?
Knock-knock
Them: (eyeing me suspiciously) Who are you?
Me: (being brown) FedEx! Is this (insert address here) ?
Them: (reaching for the shotgun behind the door) That’s what it sez on the mailbox.
Me: (making no sudden movements) Fabulous, I have a package for such-n-such person, could you sign here?
Them: You one of them Al Qaedas?
Me: No.
-at this point the doorguard has to make a choice: Either remove his hand from the shotgun so he can unbar the door or he can shout, “Git ‘er done!” and open fire on the evil courier. Thankfully I rolled 20’s yesterday and so lived to tell the tale.
The most interesting thing invariably happened at the end of the transaction, after I had delivered the package and bid them a good day. I would then amble back to my car to fill out paperwork and decide where to go next (with thx to my sweet wife and her quick use of mapquest) all the while with the package’s recipient still watching me from behind the safety of their storm door. I ask you, what was the rationale behind their suspicions? That I was pretending to be a FedEx courier so I could drop off anthrax-laced packages? These people have GOT to stop watching Fox News.
Yesterday I temped for FedEx and while it wasn’t unpleasant, after the first couple of stops, it became apparent that nobody likes brown strangers in their yard. I know, I know, it was my first reaction… my knee jerked into skin-color mode when trying to figure out what was going on. It went down like this: FedEx gave me a bunch of crap to deliver around hick towns like Corning and Orland and they told me to do it in my own car as they would pay mileage along with a wage. The only symbol or proof of my relationship with the company was a pair of door magnets with the FedEx logo on them. That and the packages themselves, ya?
Knock-knock
Them: (eyeing me suspiciously) Who are you?
Me: (being brown) FedEx! Is this (insert address here) ?
Them: (reaching for the shotgun behind the door) That’s what it sez on the mailbox.
Me: (making no sudden movements) Fabulous, I have a package for such-n-such person, could you sign here?
Them: You one of them Al Qaedas?
Me: No.
-at this point the doorguard has to make a choice: Either remove his hand from the shotgun so he can unbar the door or he can shout, “Git ‘er done!” and open fire on the evil courier. Thankfully I rolled 20’s yesterday and so lived to tell the tale.
The most interesting thing invariably happened at the end of the transaction, after I had delivered the package and bid them a good day. I would then amble back to my car to fill out paperwork and decide where to go next (with thx to my sweet wife and her quick use of mapquest) all the while with the package’s recipient still watching me from behind the safety of their storm door. I ask you, what was the rationale behind their suspicions? That I was pretending to be a FedEx courier so I could drop off anthrax-laced packages? These people have GOT to stop watching Fox News.
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