Far, Far Away

... so much for my 'PG-13' blog, lol...

(Sorry about the StarWars erotica being up for so long, lol)

A Baby-Doll T-Shirt For The Wife

Hajj

It occurred today that it's more of a pilgrimage of sorts, more or less a ‘Journey To The Center Of Chris And His Asshat Motivations”.

Anyways, for whatever reasons, here are the projected dates:

Report to in-processing 17 January.

Begin BMT @ Ft. Sill, OK, 26 January.

Begin AIT @ Ft. Sam Houston, TX, (fricken TEXAS again!) 16 April.

Return to loving family and friends on or around 10 August. (Swimsuits and hamburger buns, yay!)

More to come

More Than Meets The... sigh...

My oldest son and I watched the new Transformers movie trailer this morning and he is, sadly, enthusiastic. I'm sure you will agree that the event will be stunning visually but for my money it already shows the hallmarks of a crass, soulless, money-grubbing, idiotic escapade. And of course I'll go see it. I will sit in the theater with my friends and my children and I will drink it in knowing that this is the best we are likely gonna get. And a small piece of me will perish during the event, a victim of disappointment and compromise.



btw, my son and I can name damn-near all of the G-1 and -2 Transformers and we could only recognize 2 of em from this trailer... the rest looked like an evil bastardization of Gundam, Gobots (oh, the friggin' humanity) and those crappy claymation robots from Robot Jox.







...of Michael Bay

There can be no doubt: the man has been lobotomized. Indeed, there is no man left. The meat continues to twitch, electrical accidents birthing grotesque jerks in the unknowing beef. It speaks! But it does not give us language. It is like unto the wind blowing through a pile of skulls.

Jack Is Back... You May or May Not Know Him

Being the huge freakin' geek that I am, YDKJ is a guilty pleasure for me from way, way back=)
Enjoy

Asshats Among Us

"The Muslim representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran,"

Rep. Virgil Goode of the Commonwealth of Virginia
postulating on the future of the Democratic process.

"I will not be putting my hand on the Quran,"

Again, Rep. Virgil Goode of the Commonwealth of Virginia at a news conference Thursday at the Franklin County Courthouse where he was apparently afraid that physical contact with a holy book from outside his own religion would cause the flesh on his hand to curl and smoke.

Honestly, what is the big scare here? What is this guy so afraid of? His asshat grievance is tantamount to saying that I shouldn’t be allowed to swear an oath using a Roman Catholic bible… that the only acceptable thing to swear an official, non-secular, governmental oath on would be a selection from his personal collection of King James bibles or some such.

Not being particularly adept at scathing word-play, I have not used the links above to let the gentleman in question know how I feel, however, if you, my gentle-enlightened-hypothetical reader would like to, please be my guest.

I have a feeling that prayers don’t work like this, Lord, but if you could see to it that the Ghost of Diversities Future visits this asshat and makes him into a communist, homosexual, mulatto, Islamic-Jew, that would be just great. If that’s asking too much, perhaps it’ll be enough that he simply loses his seat during the next election cycle… and that his children don’t grow up to be like him… that would also be just fine.

Yay for the Garden State

New Jersey is 3rd state to allow gay civil unions



The Legislature moves swiftly after it was ordered to allow same-sex marriages or create an equivalent.

-its more than I had expected and yet less than I hoped for... and shame on the rest of our great (civil) union for not seeing the common sense-moral/legal imperative of the situation and swiftly following suit... now, if only we could simultaneously de-criminalize MJ...

Yet More T-Shirts

Charisma Carpenter is a Slammin' Hottie

I'd post a pic or two but this isn't that kind of site=)



p.s. thx to Danger for lettin' me borrow his 5th season 'Angel' DVD... while the season as a whole felt rushed and disjointed, there were more than a few shining moments including Cordelia's plunging neckline the resolution of the Cordelia character.

when the clowns all get here, I'll be the one by the fishbowl

Color Me Distracted

My Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom (I knew it) What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

Quiz Link

My Heart Is Blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well. You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return. Your flirting style: Friendly Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish What you bring to relationships: Loyalty

Quiz Link

My Japanese Name Is...

Souta Kobayashi

Quiz Link

My Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

Quiz Link

My Penis Name Is...

100% All-Beef Thermometer

Quiz Link

My Observation Skills Get A B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

Quiz Link

I Am 36% Abnormal

I am at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that I have no soul. I am at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that I am a chaotic mess. I am at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that I am in love with my own reflection. I am at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that I feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. I am at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that I am addicted to hand sanitizer.

Quiz Link

Associations

Alphaville

Forever young

Ann Rice’s vampires

Crappy vampire movies

The resurgence of zombie movies

Groundskeeper Willie exclaiming, “Ach! Zombies!”

Scottish and Irish brogues

The Cranberries

Dark-haired women with pale skin and light eyes (brogue is optional but a definite plus)

Linda Carter’s Wonder Woman

Sherilyn Fenn in a Wonder Woman costume

Laura Prepon in a dominatrix outfit

The GIGANTIC checkout girl at the Albertson’s on East Ave. (every time I see her I have the urge to climb her like I’m making an ascent up K-2. *everyone I’ve ever slept with has been shorter than me, consequently, when we are spooning her feet would always be on top of my feet… I’ve always wondered what the foot arrangement would be while sleeping with someone taller than me.)

I was recently challenged to record and blog an example of my train of thought, sort of a connect-the-dots line of thinking much like the old word association game we used to play.

'Abled' as a state of mind

My dear friend Sierra was having an awful time the other day while hunting for a parking spot so I decided to make these or her=)

Record-breaking Meme

1. How old do you wish you were?
25… there just seemed to be more time to do all the nothing I wanted to do back then.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
In bed.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
The last place I was that had a pilferous vending machine also has a sign on the machine stating that if you allowed it to take YOUR money without a fight, soon it would have no fear of man at all and would soon start stealing babies out of cribs. As a result every tasty transaction was bordered on all sides with the promise of violence.

4. Do you consider yourself kind?
I try to be, despite what the Cosmos thinks.

5. If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be?
hmm… perhaps ‘WP’… you know, to go under my lightning bolt!

6. If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be?
Latin, hands down.

7. Do you know your neighbors?
I do not although we know that the old lady next door is super-punctual with her garbage bins and whenever we see them at the curb for longer than a day we fear for her life.

8. What do you consider a vacation?
Any time out of the norm that allows me to recharge and reconnect with myself or my loved ones.

9. Do you follow your horoscope?
Nope.

10. Would you move for the person you loved?
I’ve done it many times and will probably do it many more.

11. Are you touchy feely?
I am.

12. Do you believe that opposites attract?
I do.

13. Dream job?
Cushy analyst… it’s the idea of being paid to be judgmental.

14. Favorite channels?
Hmmm… G4, why not?

15. Favorite place to go on a weekend?
Out… even if it’s just for a couple hours: to the movies, to the pub, to my friends’ couch.

16. Showers or bath?
Showers. It’s been a good, long time since I’ve run across a comfortable bathtub with adequate hot water.

17. Do you paint your nails?
Nope.

18. Do you trust people easily?
Yes, but there is a dark part of me that doesn’t trust anyone very far.

19. What are your phobias?
Flying. Spiders. Solitude. Loss. Helplessness. Meeting new people.

20. Do you want kids?
Yup, got two now… We occasionally think about adding another with the hope that it’ll be a girl this time, but, the fever usually breaks rather quickly.

21. Do you keep a handwritten journal?
No.

22. Where would you rather be right now?
ATM? hmmm.

23. What makes you feel warm and safe?
Control.

24. Heavy or light sleep?
I am a heavy sleeper.

25. Are you paranoid?
/thinking hmmm… what do they mean by paranoid? Just answer ‘no’. No.

26. Are you impatient?
I am told that I am. Next question!

27. Who can you relate to?
I’m lucky enough to have cultivated several relationships around me that I can relate to.

28. How do you feel about interracial couples?
I’m a big fan of connections, interracial or otherwise.

29. Have you been burned by love?
No, but I have burned myself several times in this manner.

30. What's your life motto?
”When the clowns all arrive, I’ll be standing over by the fishtank.”

31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile?
Absolutely Cuckoo for when my beebe calls me, Battlestar Galactica for everyone else.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Listening to music.

33. Who was your last text message from?
My darling friend Shel.

34. Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

35. What color shirt are you wearing?
Grey.

36. Most recent movie you watched?
Superman II, The Richard Donner Cut.

37. Name five things you have on you at all times?
When I leave the house? Wallet, watch, keys, music and my phone.

38. What color are your bed sheets?
Tan checkers.

39. How much cash do you have on you right now?
Zero.

40. What is your favorite part of chicken?
It’s innocence.

41. What's your favorite town / city?
San Jose, CA. but it’s rapidly losing out to Heutchenhausen, GE.

42. I cant wait ‘til...
July, next year.

43. What did you have for dinner last night?
My world famous potato chowda’.

44. How tall are you barefoot?
5’9”

45. Have you ever smoked crack?
No.

46. Do you own a gun?
Not at present.

47. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water.

48. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Honesty.

49. Do you have A.D.D.?
I don’t think so but I want to add something about a previous question here if I may. I also like to drink juice in the mornings=)

50. What time did you wake up today?
9-ish?.

51. Current worry?
Hmm. Aint tellin’.

52. Current hate?
Nah, I don’t hate anything... there are lots of things I would change if given the chance but nothing I hate.

53. Favorite place to be?
atm? Under covers=)

54. Where would you like to travel?
Back to europe, for a start... I’ll likely be heading someplace hotter.

55. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
If all goes well, someplace similar to where I am now.

56. Last thing you ate?
Waffles and bacon.

57. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever song is running through my head atm, lately its been a bit of country tho I honestly couldn’t tell you why.

58. Last person that made you laugh?
My darling wife.

59. Worst injury you've ever had?
Pass.

60. Does someone have a crush on you?
I think so=)

61. What is your favorite candy?
Right now I’m digging on these Almond Rocas, yowza are they decadent.

Me versus The Cosmos (pt. 2)

I believe the universe is about balance, but I also believe that it’s an awful big place full of dark wonders and incredible oddities. It is also my firm belief that not all of it is comprehensible, nor indeed, is the information even applicable in a human sense. That being said (and my rationality firmly established) I also believe the universe has a sense of humor.

Dan Quayle.
Fabio getting hit in the face by a bird while riding a roller coaster.
Sex-scandals of the rich and pious.
And this:

I have recently realized that if I don’t have a bottle of water on hand at all times, I will simply not drink water leading, inevitably, to dehydration, headaches and the heartbreak of chapped lips.

Now that I have a new bottle I guard it jealously, refilling it as needed and never letting it get too far from me.

Earlier, I was feeling a bit snarky towards the universe (we have a history, the Cosmos and I) when, as chance would have it, I dropped the cap to my water bottle. Normally, this wouldn’t mean a big deal as I could simply bend over and pick it up, ja? Well, I happened to be standing five feet away from the only open-air return for our HVAC system and, as luck would have it, the cap fell, bounced once and fell directly into its dusty abyss. This is literally the only place in the whole of the habitable areas of my house where if something falls into it, it is lost forever. What are the chances, right?

I see how it is… well met, Cosmos… touché, even.



Me – 1
Cosmos – 1

Words’ Worth

I’ve started noticing something interesting involving the power of words and terminologies lately. Here are a few examples and a clumsy segue:

'Secularism' isn’t the opposite of religion or spiritualism… honestly; it’s the desire for an absence of religion and religion-based value judgments from government. Recently ‘secular’ has turned into a denigration thrown about by the modern religious entities, including politicians. Its curious to me that such a term, its utilization prescribed clearly in the first amendment, can be twisted like this.

Another example of the twisting of a words’ meaning to fit into a political or religious lexicon is the term ‘Liberal’. Politically speaking, it wasn’t until the 80’s that the term picked up its negative connotation, literally stepping up into popular use to replace the term ‘Communist’ when it became convenient.

There’s no doubt about it: words have power. But it’s not always about obfuscation or ridiculous political shenanigans. Sometimes its about trust and mood.

The last example is ‘Civil War’. Recently the mainstream media have decided to call a duck a duck and use the term ‘Civil War’ to describe the sectarian violence in Iraq.

"use the term ‘Civil War’ to describe the sectarian violence in Iraq..."

Firstly, kudos to the Times and NBC news for stepping up to the plate and doing the job by publicly stating that they wouldn’t be a part of a semantic, hair-splitting argument with this country’s imperious leader. Secondly, no one who has been paying attention could, in any honesty, describe the ass-hattery in Iraq as anything but a full-fledged civil war. That being said, I was sorta hoping the subterfuge would hold, at least for a while longer.

You see, when you make a big deal about a name-change or a terminology shift, you tend to create a spectacle and attract attention, which is, I am sure, the point. The problem is this: We, as a national collective, are responsible for the instability in Iraq.

"...one of the greatest falsehoods... is that America is thankful for her soldiers’ service..."

Yeah, we went under false pretenses, yup, the post-war was (and IS being) grossly mishandled and (/sigh) yeah, one of the greatest falsehoods perpetrated on the American heartland today is that America is thankful for her soldiers’ service. None of that changes the simple truth that, like it or not, Iraq is a reality and our nation is responsible. And now, with this latest shift in terminology, we have given ourselves the long lost exit strategy, the ‘out’ from the situation that we have all been looking for: Dubya’s ‘cut and run’ come to terrible reality.

Confused? I will explain. Here’s the power of these words: by definition, a ‘Civil War’ is an INTERNAL matter, resolvable only through internal (see: Iraqi) means and without external influence. As though the west would have ANY viable influence in the area if simply left tomorrow, ja? With the terminology’s popular use comes the inevitable sentiment that we should just leave and let them sort it all out.

Doing this would be madness, just as idiotic as picking the fight to begin with. The long-term humanitarian effects would be catastrophic as there still are not even basic services running reliably and the only independent aid organization, the Red Cross, is a very popular target for kidnapping and murder. But that’s not the worst reason.

"...(prematurely leaving Iraq) would be madness... The long-term humanitarian effects would be catastrophic..."

The most compelling reason is, sadly, strategic. Say that stabilization happens overnight, immediately after we withdraw our troops and in spite of the lack of western ‘aid’. This means that they either subjugated their enemies or, worse, they realized that the differences between their ideologies were slight enough to overlook. You would now have an openly hostile, aggressive nation sitting on 2/3 of the petroleum reserves in the Middle East… sitting next door to an historical enemy of the west with strong religious and cultural ties to its populous. This very situation is the reason why we didn’t depose Saddam Hussein in 1991. It’s also the reason why we helped put him into power in the first place.

Folks, we as a nation have an opportunity now to do what’s right by owning up to our collective mistakes. Its only a sad coincidence that supporting the mission means the same (superficially) as supporting Dubya. Our troops deserve better treatment, their sacrifices should not be diminished through intellectual legerdemain and the people of Iraq deserve their shot at peace and a better tomorrow. Particularly because we are responsible for their crappy 'today'.

p.s.
Speaking of the power of words, Kramer dropping the N-bomb on a couple hecklers isn’t the end of the world, hell, its barely even news. There are more important things we should be discussing atm (see above) and it seems to me that hypocritical sensitivity to idiotic name calling shouldn’t even be on a rational adult’s radar.