And So It Is… One Mo’ Time…

What's one my mind? Hmm.

Regular (lol) readers of this blog may notice a trend here. If you, my hypothetical friend, guessed “Yoshi gets drunk and blogs about once a frickin’ year”, then you’re not too far off the mark. Its not that I haven’t anything to write about, on the contrary, my year has been interesting, at least in the Chinese proverbial sense.

What’s been happening lately? Well, some good stuff, some bad, you get the idea, ja? Lets see…

A while back my evil twin and I found out that we would be going to the same place for 10 weeks after we finished here. Shortly after receiving the news a plan (of sorts) was hatched: we should travel together, save a bunch of money by sharing expenses, visit with some dear friends along the way and possibly hit Atlantic City and witness a mob slaying. Good times, ja?

Well, the first snag hit when his car, outta the blue starts overheating. Well, the author of this page is a fairly handy guy, so we took his car apart and after much knuckle-bruising and forearm-burning, we fixed it. Not one week later, my darling wife calls to tell me that our old Nissan is broken down because it was overheating.

Now, to the casual observer it would appear that these two instances are unrelated. However, readers may remember that I am locked into an epic battle with the Cosmos. (If you are not familiar with my plight just know that there is history between the Cosmos and I, oh yes. There was some name calling involved, some general asshattery from all parties but for the most part it seemed as though there was an uneasy truce between the Cosmos and I. In fact, last year was one of my favorite years yet.) From my slightly skewed perspective it would seem that the Cosmos had broken our truce and in it’s Seinfeld-type sense of humor decided it would poke me. As though there were a finite amount of overheating ju-ju rolling around the universe and it placed me in a situation where I would happily help out my friends, unknowing that the Cosmos was just around the corner, sniggering into its hand.

I see, Cosmos… well played.

Cosmos 1
Me 0

As some of you may know, for reasons both subtle and obvious I recently took up smoking again.
*a patient pause here to allow the booing and the hissing to die down.

Well, worry not friends; I have once again given it up… again. Yes, just like that. No, its not easy (at all) I’ve just done it so many times I’ve gotten really good at it. Last time it sucked quite a bit but I was in a state of flux coming here to this new school and I had peeps I could bother both day and night whenever I needed the distraction. This time not so much. Last time the stars seemed to align wonderfully and somehow I was able to pick up a replacement habit easily. This time, I’ve got practical exams, presentations, birthdays, regular exams, roommates and regular army BS to deal with. Oh, and did I mention that there are reasons that are both subtle and obvious? I did? ‘k.

Anyhoo, iff’n you get a moment, send a little good ju-ju my way as it seems we once more find ourselves pitted against our age-old rival, the American Navy… er, I mean the Cosmos. Sorry, I was channeling Sean Connery there for a moment. Anyways, where was I? Ah, yes.
“Once more, down to the beach, my dear friends…” lol, wish me luck.

Hajj

It occurred today that it's more of a pilgrimage of sorts, more or less a ‘Journey To The Center Of Chris And His Asshat Motivations”.

Anyways, for whatever reasons, here are the projected dates:

Report to in-processing 17 January.

Begin BMT @ Ft. Sill, OK, 26 January.

Begin AIT @ Ft. Sam Houston, TX, (fricken TEXAS again!) 16 April.

Return to loving family and friends on or around 10 August. (Swimsuits and hamburger buns, yay!)

More to come

Jack Is Back... You May or May Not Know Him

Being the huge freakin' geek that I am, YDKJ is a guilty pleasure for me from way, way back=)
Enjoy

'Abled' as a state of mind

My dear friend Sierra was having an awful time the other day while hunting for a parking spot so I decided to make these or her=)

Record-breaking Meme

1. How old do you wish you were?
25… there just seemed to be more time to do all the nothing I wanted to do back then.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
In bed.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
The last place I was that had a pilferous vending machine also has a sign on the machine stating that if you allowed it to take YOUR money without a fight, soon it would have no fear of man at all and would soon start stealing babies out of cribs. As a result every tasty transaction was bordered on all sides with the promise of violence.

4. Do you consider yourself kind?
I try to be, despite what the Cosmos thinks.

5. If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be?
hmm… perhaps ‘WP’… you know, to go under my lightning bolt!

6. If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be?
Latin, hands down.

7. Do you know your neighbors?
I do not although we know that the old lady next door is super-punctual with her garbage bins and whenever we see them at the curb for longer than a day we fear for her life.

8. What do you consider a vacation?
Any time out of the norm that allows me to recharge and reconnect with myself or my loved ones.

9. Do you follow your horoscope?
Nope.

10. Would you move for the person you loved?
I’ve done it many times and will probably do it many more.

11. Are you touchy feely?
I am.

12. Do you believe that opposites attract?
I do.

13. Dream job?
Cushy analyst… it’s the idea of being paid to be judgmental.

14. Favorite channels?
Hmmm… G4, why not?

15. Favorite place to go on a weekend?
Out… even if it’s just for a couple hours: to the movies, to the pub, to my friends’ couch.

16. Showers or bath?
Showers. It’s been a good, long time since I’ve run across a comfortable bathtub with adequate hot water.

17. Do you paint your nails?
Nope.

18. Do you trust people easily?
Yes, but there is a dark part of me that doesn’t trust anyone very far.

19. What are your phobias?
Flying. Spiders. Solitude. Loss. Helplessness. Meeting new people.

20. Do you want kids?
Yup, got two now… We occasionally think about adding another with the hope that it’ll be a girl this time, but, the fever usually breaks rather quickly.

21. Do you keep a handwritten journal?
No.

22. Where would you rather be right now?
ATM? hmmm.

23. What makes you feel warm and safe?
Control.

24. Heavy or light sleep?
I am a heavy sleeper.

25. Are you paranoid?
/thinking hmmm… what do they mean by paranoid? Just answer ‘no’. No.

26. Are you impatient?
I am told that I am. Next question!

27. Who can you relate to?
I’m lucky enough to have cultivated several relationships around me that I can relate to.

28. How do you feel about interracial couples?
I’m a big fan of connections, interracial or otherwise.

29. Have you been burned by love?
No, but I have burned myself several times in this manner.

30. What's your life motto?
”When the clowns all arrive, I’ll be standing over by the fishtank.”

31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile?
Absolutely Cuckoo for when my beebe calls me, Battlestar Galactica for everyone else.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Listening to music.

33. Who was your last text message from?
My darling friend Shel.

34. Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

35. What color shirt are you wearing?
Grey.

36. Most recent movie you watched?
Superman II, The Richard Donner Cut.

37. Name five things you have on you at all times?
When I leave the house? Wallet, watch, keys, music and my phone.

38. What color are your bed sheets?
Tan checkers.

39. How much cash do you have on you right now?
Zero.

40. What is your favorite part of chicken?
It’s innocence.

41. What's your favorite town / city?
San Jose, CA. but it’s rapidly losing out to Heutchenhausen, GE.

42. I cant wait ‘til...
July, next year.

43. What did you have for dinner last night?
My world famous potato chowda’.

44. How tall are you barefoot?
5’9”

45. Have you ever smoked crack?
No.

46. Do you own a gun?
Not at present.

47. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water.

48. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Honesty.

49. Do you have A.D.D.?
I don’t think so but I want to add something about a previous question here if I may. I also like to drink juice in the mornings=)

50. What time did you wake up today?
9-ish?.

51. Current worry?
Hmm. Aint tellin’.

52. Current hate?
Nah, I don’t hate anything... there are lots of things I would change if given the chance but nothing I hate.

53. Favorite place to be?
atm? Under covers=)

54. Where would you like to travel?
Back to europe, for a start... I’ll likely be heading someplace hotter.

55. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
If all goes well, someplace similar to where I am now.

56. Last thing you ate?
Waffles and bacon.

57. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever song is running through my head atm, lately its been a bit of country tho I honestly couldn’t tell you why.

58. Last person that made you laugh?
My darling wife.

59. Worst injury you've ever had?
Pass.

60. Does someone have a crush on you?
I think so=)

61. What is your favorite candy?
Right now I’m digging on these Almond Rocas, yowza are they decadent.

Na na na na na na na na Katamari Damacy

here is the link=)

Nerd-Gamers FTW!

Recently my friends and I have run into a glut of RPG books in pdf-format. This, when coupled with the use of a semi-capable laptop, allows me to become a mobile encyclopedia of nerd-gaming knowledge, second only (at least in our little circle) to the bookshelf/cabinet located at Danger and Rabbit’s place. When you toss in the automatic dice roller you get from WoTC website and the initiative tracker I’ve been trying to make work you end up with a geek-gaming machine, indeed, a veritable Dork ex machina, that incorporates all aspects of my nerd-gaming addiction. (right, like I’m the only one… raise your hand if you’ve ever killed a kobold.)

Speaking of Danger and his lovely wife Rabbit, these were the nice folks that introduced me to the Steve Jackson line of games including the beloved Munchkin sets. These games are based on the art and humor of John Kovalic, the creator of the web comic Dork Tower. To my delight (and yet, there was no surprise in this at all) I found that these brilliant folks have released their own supplements to the vast D20/Open Game License empire. With wondrous magic items like “Kneepads of Ill-Repute”, “Spiked Codpiece” and the dreaded “Unnatural Axe” you should have no problem at all finding worthy foes and killing them by surprise. Imagine my utter glee when I discovered one of the bad-guys inspired by the Munchkins Monster Manual: You and your party pause at the foot of the low hill as a distant yipping sound reaches your ears. Louder and louder the cacophony builds until the sharp-eyed among you sees them- anthropomorphic dog shapes running at you, but, rather than dogs covered in fur, these all seem to be arboreal creatures covered in grass. Horrors! You have wandered into the forbidden land of Dal-las and face the evil of… The Grassy Gnolls!

I mean, seriously, how do we NOT play this?

You just KNOW there’s a-gonna be at least one archer-type master-blastered onto the backs of one of these puppies if, for no other reason than to say that there is a lone sniper on a Grassy Gnoll!

Perhaps if the others will go for it we’ll play this a bit this weekend=)

Tequila!

I was so tickled by my friend Shel’s post about tequila last week that I was inspired to organize a tequila-shot night at our friend’s house last Friday! (I say ‘organized’ but really all it really came down to was my saying, “Honey, could you pick up a bottle of tequila tonite?” My mad organizational skillz there, lol)

I had a lot of fun and am willing to place the evening in the ‘win’ category for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that no one vomited. Score!

The last time I had attempted anything like this I was literally a teenager still and the results were spectacularly colorful, so much so that the people who lived there (which strangely didn’t include anyone who was drinking that night) had to move soon thereafter. Again, I’m very sorry Carrie and Jack. Ick.

I think because we paced our shots and had fun with it rather than charging through the whole bottle that the experience was so nice. (The licking of the salt got to be especially interesting.)
Anyways, I had a great time and though I am sure it will not become a regular event I can see tryin again sometime… when the stars align again perhaps=)

Fun w/ Tiles

Pholph's Scrabble Generator Our Scrabble© Score is: 33. What is your score? Get it here.

I couldn't help myself when I saw this=)

Motivations

It’s been mentioned to me that my weight loss motivations and goals have never been clearly or fully expressed here. Allow me to now correct this glaring oversight.
There are three main reasons or rather three categories from which reasoning can be gleaned. It should also be noted straight away and with no ambiguity whatsoever that neither healthfulness nor health in general had anything to do with wanting to lose weight.

1. Fighting robot-ninja-jedis ala cheesy HK action flicks filmed in my backyard.
This one has been mentioned a couple times in the course of this blog and remains firmly entrenched in my noggin and I need to be in shape in order to have my shirt ripped off me by an evil robot-ninja-jedi.

"my shirt ripped off me by an evil robot-ninja-jedi..."

A constant source of motivation, ideas for the filming of this are constantly being refined pretty much every time I see an action flick or an action flick parody. It’ll be awesome, and all are welcome to participate. Seriously, we got a decent camera so that part is covered. (Although its kinda MIA doin’ a different kind of filming *wink-wink*). We won’t need serious sound quality because we’re a-gonna dub it all in awful karate-movie fashion and we won’t need a serious costume budget, because, hey, all of its gonna get tore up anyways=) Truly, a film experience for the ages.

2. Be able to put my fricken wedding ring on without having to use the Jaws of Life and a quart of vasoline.
This one is covered in my immediately previous post and it’s also fairly self-explanatory. I miss my wedding band. It is another constant source of motivation whenever I see my darling wife wearing hers or I happen to notice my friends’ rings.

3. I want to look good naked.
“Are you like me? Do you have low self-esteem when it comes to your physical appearance? If you answered ‘yes’ then this program is for you. Call now and you too can learn how true inner beauty can be found blah, blah, blah.”
I think that’s just great. Inner beauty is a wonderful thing and it IS an important piece of the ‘happiness’ puzzle. Why, just this morning I clearly saw my friend’s caring, giving nature- her obvious discomfiture at other people’s discomfort and in that moment she struck me as truly beautiful.
But let’s be honest here. It’s not ‘inner beauty’ at all that initially catches our eyes from across the crowded room. Its not Angelina’s or Nicole’s or even Jennifer’s inner beauty that made you watch both Tomb Raider AND Tomb Raider 2, or every single crappy Tom Cruise flick, hoping to catch a glimpse of his savagely attractive (ex-)wife. It wasn’t inner beauty, at all, that made you TiVo that episode of Friends where Rachael takes off her bra on-screen, wearing only a thin, tight shirt afterwards. (BTW, TiVo called… yeah, you owe them for a new remote… you animal)

Ever since I decided for myself that a bit of vanity was a-okay, I have also had time to make myself comfortable with some of the reasoning. I wanna look good naked, dammit. My own, personal, inner beauty could very well be chalk-full of holes, like I’m some kind of narcissistic Scrooge-Grinch-Ann Coutler caricature but the people who are close to me accept me and love me for who I am and I return them the favor. That being said, it matters to me not at all if someone outside my circle of friends thinks I am a shallow dick. In honesty, I am likely both of those things (and more) often enough for the words to stick.

"I don’t go out of my way to be prickish..."

Please don’t misunderstand me; I don’t go out of my way to be prickish but I am human. I am that guy that laughed uproariously at you when you went to leave the bathroom and your drunken partner screamed, “Wash your hands you filthy bastard!” I am that guy with a strong appreciation for the female form and if my gaze should linger on you I honestly meant no offense. I am sure you are a lovely person, inner beauty and all that. I’m sure Angelina, Nicole and Jennifer are all lovely people, however, I don’t know them… and I don’t know you. What I do know is only what I see and some of the things I see are pleasant to behold. The chances of my covering my eyes and then developing an association with someone long enough to recognize their inner beauty without having been exposed to their physical appearance are slim.

For most of us, this is the very definition of first impressions. Something about you must capture a part of me and make me want to get to know you beyond a physical association. Often what we have to rely on is what we see and I want my advertisement, my initial presentation, to look good. Is that superficial? Sure, but only if its taken at face value=)

Ink Concepts

As the people who are close to me know, I’ve been looking for a tattoo design for a while now and have had no luck whatsoever with my search. All the tattoos out there on the net seemed too silly, too vulgar, too impersonal or too generic. Nothing leapt out at me and hollered, “Me! Me! You want ME on your back forever!” With d-day approaching and an agreement between Evan and myself looming over me, I finally decided that I needed help. The problem was, I didn’t have the first clue what I wanted. I knew I wanted something reflective of myself, a simple design without pretension that was symbolic of some of my core values. (It should be noted here that the author, in a nerdiness fervor, nearly convinced himself to scrap the whole ‘symbolic values’ motif and simply get the symbol of Captain Marvel tattooed on his back. THIS is precisely why you should NEVER decide on a tattoo whilst drinking… it still sounds very kewl to him tho, possibly for a second tattoo)
Salvation came the other day though when I roughed out a crude representation of what was floating in my head and gave it to my artist friend. He took the cave drawing home and promised to put some thought into a design and we would figure it out from there. Then last weekend while we were playing cards at my place, my artist friend starts sketching out a design right there. And it clicked. That was it! Well, the beginning of ‘it’ anyways. With that bit of inky magic set more firmly in my mind I was able to cobble together this rough photoshop design that is very close to what I want and with a little more work it may be perfect. As always, any comments or advice are welcome=)